Update: 4 months 2 weeks.

Well at 4 months and around 2 weeks I can safely say I absolutely hate my nose. I know doctors say wait at least 6 months but I recently took the opinions of rhinoplasty specialists in the UK and they have all agreed that my nose is not going to miraculously change over night and that this is more or less what I am stuck with.

So where do I start. My nose before - ok it was big - but at the same time...so are my lips and eyes so it was in proportion with my face. All I wanted removed was the hump to straighten the profile and maybe the tip brought up just slightly so it wouldn't drop even more after the hump was removed. What I've got now is a flat bridge at the top and a lump at the bottom for a tip with a pig like upturned nose. Also have a solid bump on the bridge and either rock hard callus formation or bone around the bridge so it's all very uneven and just .... don't even have a word to describe it. My nose face on wasn't that bad before but now (as you can see from the pictures) it's the worst part. The profile is also far from straight and I think it will need to be rebuilt in the future.

You are probably wondering whether I have contacted my surgeon, yes I have. Well he contacted me (or perhaps it was his wife as the email was in English) to ask about my progress and to update him with pictures so they can see the improvements(!) I replied a little while after with photo's and an email addressing my concerns. I finally got a very disappointing response after a few days. The email, I presume, was from the Dr himself this time in French and it was explaining one month post operative care. No, I'm not kidding. After going through emotional hell about what had been done to my face, the last thing I expected to hear from the Dr was information I had received 3 months before. I understand people can make mistakes and perhaps I was sent someone else's email but I replied telling the Dr that I was 4 months post-op and not 1 month and I still haven't heard from him again - almost 2 weeks after.

A word of advice to anyone considering rhinoplasty, think about it a million times over. You are ultimately putting your face in someone's hands to do as they please and the results can be worse than before and harm your confidence more than ever. For me, my next move is to have a consultation with a few specialists here in the UK at around 6 months and have my nose assessed to see what can be fixed and when. I was quoted around £7,000 by 3 different specialists after they saw my photo's and as a pretty standard price for revision surgeries so it was not worth going to Morocco to save on a primary rhinoplasty as the revision is costing me  3-4 times more!

Update: One month & 2 months

I cannot express how frustrating the recovery process is for Rhinoplasty. The first month my nose would look good one day and I'd love it, but then I'd go out in the heat (bare in mind I was in Morocco in 40+ degrees temperatures) and my nose would swell up so bad that I would cry and then it would get even more swollen and I would hate it. I had this problem on and off for the first 6 weeks. I had to go to a wedding a month after my Rhinoplasty and my nose was still insanely swollen and the tip had not dropped yet so I tried to use make up to contour my nose and make it look smaller which looked great in the mirror but on camera I looked like I had a pig nose. Not a good look!! I used to have to ice my nose straight after a semi warm shower as it would swell up and continue icing it if I went out in the sun or even if I over slept. Swelling is evil..it will use any thing as an excuse to make your nose blow up in size!

I noticed when I returned to England after 6 weeks, the swelling in the top part of the bridge went down a lot but the tip was still very swollen leaving me with a ball at the end of my nose. I also have this annoying little bump in the bridge which is rock hard and is visible from the front view and profile view. I think it goes up and down in size but I'm not sure, but I think it totally went yesterday when I woke up but it was back again after a few hours and big! I also have a bump under my left eye I think where the bones were broken and I did have one on the right side, but I noticed it vanished a few days after my cast was taken off. I contacted the Doctor about these bumps as I was really worried they may be bone and permanent, but he said it was totally normal in the healing process to get lumps and bumps and they go down eventually. This is how broken bones heal and also the reason why Surgeons generally tell you to wait at least 6 months before worrying about your nose shape. (I googled these bumps and it seems many people suffer from them and they do eventually go down or if not can be removed pretty easily).

Pain wise I didn't really feel any pain unless I touched the tip of my nose which was and still is very tender at 2 months. It hurts a lot if you bump your nose on something..doesn't even have to be a hard hit..it hurts!!

To wrap it up..I like my new bridge shape, I hate how swollen my tip is and that it looks like a ball and I hate this random little hard lump on my lower bridge, it's giving my nose a funny shape face on and profile!

Anyone considering this procedure needs to take a serious dose of patience, you will need so much patience to be able to deal with the ups and downs of the recovery process. It is quite emotionally draining to go through on a daily basis!

Day 9

I have been pretty bad at keeping up with the posting, I know, but I've been very busy this past couple of months.

So anyway, day 9 I went to get the stitches out and the cast off. The stitches didn't hurt at all to remove which I was pretty surprised about. The cast was a bit painful to have removed as the adhesive was pretty strong and had caused spots and irritation to my cheeks. Now the Doctor did make it very clear to me that my nose was extremely swollen and that although the shape was great, this would not be the final result. I wasn't really paying attention to him to be honest. I was so excited to see my face that I was like yeh yeh it's fine..swollen...ummhmm yep got it. I also had some pretty crazy expectations which I put down to all the youtube diaries and blogs I had seen where after 10 days the people looked amazing..no swelling, beautiful profiles, beautiful noses and no pain! Don't buy it people..it's rubbish! When I stood up and looked in the mirror I almost fainted, not because my nose was ugly, but because I didn't look like me at alllllll. My face was so swollen, my eyes looked really far apart, my nose was smaller and much straighter but it looked really upturned on first glance and my eyes were still badly blood shot, but it was the swelling in between my eyes that got me. It was worse than Avatar. 

Day four, five and six.

Not really much to update on day four. I was still bruised, still had swelling in my face and eyes, still blood shot and was still very tired. I started to feel nausea kicking in on day four which affected my eating. I thought I felt that way as I had to keep putting these disinfectant drops in my nose and it would go down my throat tasting like salty soap, but as day 5 came I realised it was a little more than just the drops making me feel sick. I think I slept for most of day four just to rid myself of the nausea.

Day five I started to feel really really sick. I didn't want to eat, the thought of food made my stomach turn. Even drinking a small amount of water was making me feel like being really sick. I began to get a fever and a pounding headache that not even paracetamol could touch. I couldn't breathe through my nose as big hard scabs had formed on the inside and I didn't want to touch my nose other than applying these drops and Vaseline as instructed by my Doctor. I told my Father something was up and that I was feeling really unwell. He told me to keep up with the medication and if I still felt sick on the morning of day six, we would call the Doctor and see what he said.

Day six arrived and boy did I feel ill. I had reached breaking point. My high fever remained, my headache was in full force and I just wanted to be sick. My Father phoned the Doctor who said it was normal to have a bit of a temperature and a headache, but told my Father that I must stop taking the anti-biotic's immediately and prescribed me another one to take for the remaining five days until my cast was to be removed. I did as I was told and began taking the new medication on the eve of day six. The bruising had gone down a lot by then and also the swelling. I was beginning to look semi normal but the blood shot eyes made me look freaky.

My eating was really minimal for days five and six, but I tried to get a lot of water in my system. I can't stress how important it is to get at least some fluids in your system if you are unable to eat like I was.

Day three

I think day three was potentially the worst day in terms of trauma. I thought having the cannula put in my hand was bad...the worst was yet to come!

Today I was leaving the clinic. I was actually only supposed to spend one night there, but my Father felt more comfortable paying extra and leaving me there for another night until the stuffing was taken out of my nose. Madame Guessous kindly managed to arrange this for me and I was able to stay in the same room another night.

I woke up in the morning and was visited by Dr. Guessous to see how I was feeling and to inform me that the stuffing would be taken out this morning and I would feel much better after that and sure enough after an hour or so, I was being led to take them out. I can only describe this experience as absolute hell. I am not one for pain, I have a low tolerance for pain and discomfort and I thought it would be a lot less painful than it was. It literally felt like someone was pulling my brain out of my nose. This was by far the worst part of my whole experience EVER. It was over within 5 minutes (thank GOD) and I was breathing through my nose again and it felt great! Having the stuffing taken out really shook me up though, and I had to have two drips put through the IV which stung like hell..making me even more faint and uncomfortable. That's just me though.. I can't even handle 2 minute blood tests so for me this was hours of discomfort and light headedness.

My Father arrived to pick me up and his first reaction to the bruising and swelling was "oh my God...". Ever the charmer! We tied up any loose ends, paying for the change in meds and finally spoke to Dr. Guessous again to determine what day to return to have the cast removed. The journey home took forever, I felt sick from the air-con in the car and was continuously wiping my nose as it was still leaking. When we got indoors I went straight to the mirror, my face had BALLOONED in size. My cheeks were painful and really swollen and my eyes had become a shade lighter of purpley blue but were intensely blood shot. The bruising and swelling had gone down just a little I think and I put that down to my taking of Arnica Montana.

Day two.

Day two was an interesting day to say the least. I woke up with the most intense swelling around my eyes and I was literally purple/dark blue from bruising. I could feel pressure under my cast, perhaps from the swelling of my nose and it was uncomfortable. I had minimal pain for the early part of the day which I was pretty surprised about considering. I spoke to Madame Guessous soon after I had my first round of medication and breakfast and she told me what happened in my procedure. It turns out when the Dr. Guessous opened my nose (I had a closed procedure), he found it to be in a bit of a mess so the surgery took longer than planned. She explained to me that the bump had been removed, but he also had to fix the sides of my nose before finally breaking them and bringing them in to form a new bridge. I totally understand that as my bump was not only on the bridge, but on either side as well. Dr. Guessous came in a few times during the day to check on me and my nose and made sure I was doing OK, assuring me that any pain, bruising and swelling would be normal and this was very reassuring to hear. As the day panned out the pain got  A LOT worse. The nurses didn't really want to give me any pain medication because of all the other meds I was taking. Not that you couldn't take them together, but they were concerned that all that medication was too much for my body too take all at once. It was very kind of them to consider this, but the pain was so intense that I would have been crawling up the walls..if I had the energy! I actually brought the pain meds with me from the UK. I brought Paracetamol, Ibruprofen and Codeine with me (my GP recommended them), but Dr. Guessous only allowed me to have Paracetamol which worked fine when I took it.
It was hard to eat from the pain in my nose and sleeping was out of the question! I had my nose stuffed straight after the op, I think it was to absorb the blood and to reduce the swelling in my airway, but I'm not sure and I never asked. Anyway, this stuffing was causing a strange pressure sensation in my nose. I would feel air in the top of my nose every time I spoke, breathed, chewed and it would block my ears. I woke up frequently during the night from the pain and at one point it was so bad that I had to buzz the nurse in and ask  for pain medication. I couldn't hack it anymore.

Operation day - Day One.

The day finally came after a week of waiting! I was due in for 7:15am on the Monday morning, so my Father and I left very early to reach Casablanca in time. We got there and I started to feel really nervous and scared..the thought of an IV through my hand, the surgery itself, the pain after surgery. I'm really surprised I didn't chicken out last minute! We got taken to what would be my recovery room, lovely room with a tv and bathroom and small patio area outside. We were pleasantly greeted by Madame Guessous, the surgeons wife, and soon after the Dr. Mohamed Jamal Guessous came in to greet us and take before pictures of my nose. I then met the anaesthetist who was a very sweet guy, trying to make me laugh and ease up. I guess the fear must have been pretty evident on my face!  I got into my hospital gown and proceeded to the operating room where the nurses did their thing attaching things to my chest and preparing me for surgery. By this point the anaesthetist was attempting to put the cannula in my hand.. I think that was the worst part of the whole surgery. I was all over the place trying not to faint at the thought of what he was doing, and I remember the surgeon and anaesthetist speaking to me in English and laughing at me after I screamed oh my God once the needle was in place. EW. It definitely lightened my mood to hear some English and relaxed me a little. At this point I must stress how nice and attentive all the staff were when trying to calm me down; I was a nervous wreck!
I don't remember much after that apart from the needles going into my nose to numb it. That hurt! After that I think I was asleep at first and regained conciousness to feel the surgeon filing and breaking my nose. I was talking to the surgeon answering his questions if I was feeling OK. It sounds insane but there really was NO pain at all. I was talking to myself saying oh he's filing your nose now and now breaking it....but I wasn't uncomfortable at any point. It was the strangest feeling ever! I recommend local anaesthetic and sedation if you are having a Rhinoplasty. If you don't need to be under general, don't be. The risks are much less. After the operation was over, I simply stood up and returned to my recovery room aided by some nurses and got into bed. My Father took a few photo's of my supermodel face with a huge cast stuck on and I fell asleep, soon after my Father left back for Meknes and I returned to sleeping.

The recovery for day one was really tough, I felt so sick the whole day, I'm guessing from anaesthetic. I had tomato soup for lunch, a banana and yoghurt and got back to sleeping. I woke up again still feeling super sick. I needed to take my medication, but there was a slight mix up. The girl (I think she was a receptionist) had purchased soluble medication - my worst nightmare! Madame Guessous soon sorted this out and the girl was instructed to go and buy the same medication in tablet form. I was in pain so I took some painkillers and went back to sleep. In the evening I woke up again to eat dinner, but soon after I was vomiting much to my relief. I felt SO much better afterwards. That horrible feeling of nausea finally left me alone to recover in peace!

I have to take a moment to give a huge shout out to a nurse called Ghizlane who was an absolute star looking after me that day and night. She kept returning to check up on me, and was there to hold my hair back when I was being sick and took me to the patio to get some fresh air, smiling and being so kind through the whole ordeal and when you are ill, and feel awful and someone is that nice to you..you sure do appreciate it. Ghizlane if you ever read this blog...a massive thank you from the heart for your kindness and for looking after me!